The Ship That Shouldn't Have Sunk
by MusicallyCapricious
Summary: Eridan Trys to bust a move on our favourite nerd, in the meantime, Gamzee and Tavros are exploring the new benefits of being matesprits. If you don't like Homestuck shipping, this isn't for you. EriSol, Gamtav, JohnKat and more. Rated T for swearing and Juggalo goodness.
1. Be an Arrogant Prick

Eridan's wand hit the floor with a quiet hollow click. Around him were the ruins of an old ship ripe for plundering. He has slain all of the pathetic little imp guardians that "protected" this place, and he used that term loosely. Then again, he had only been able to kill the weak things because he was such a skilled wizard.

Err… scientist, because we all knew that magic was fakey fakey fake.

He sighed. Even though this ship was bountiful in treasure, it wasn't the same without his stunning ex-kismesis. He collected some treasure and exited the game.

Back within the base on the lonely meteor, he sat in a chair and began to stare pitifully at the low ceiling. "Oh cod, how long will I be alone like this?" Even though they had technically won the game, the trolls still sat on that motionless rock in space. That small rock didn't hold very much to look at, particularly since Karkat commanded them all to remain in that one tech lab. As he looked across the dank room, he was disgusted by all the cheery activity. Nepeta stalked the floor, occasionally pouncing on another troll. Terezi began to sob, and as she cried Karkat tried to comfort her. She pushed away from his nervous arms and transportated away. Gamzee was dancing ridiculously around the horn pile where Sollux and Feferi lay. Vriska sat flipping her hair about as she watched Tavros fall down the stairs in the adjoining corridor. Kan was busy staring at the ridiculous Matriorb thing or Wwhatevver. Equius simply mumbled down at the dismembered robot pieces that lay in shambles, ones that he soon planned to add on to Aradia for some purpose.

HE, on the other hand, was actually doing some real work, practicing his science.

On the other side of the vast room, Feferi got up to get a drink; leaving Sollux Captor alone in the horn pile. Eridan approached him cautiously, his scarf swinging low as he stumbled over.

"Sol?"

"What fish face?"

"Well, how are things going for you Sol?"

"Fuck off Ampora."

"Sol, I want to talk to you, can I join you in the pile?"

"Of course not," Sollux cried out. "I don't like you and I'm sure as hell not going to talk to you right now." The lisping Gemini flipped the hipster the finger and stalked off after Feferi. Eridan returned to his chair in front of the shitty computer. He sighed and tilted his head back to reflect. It had been only two weeks, and yet everyone was starting to act crazy.

Today had been by far the worst since they had gotten to the space colony. As his internal temper flared, his wand blasted tiny red puffs. He thought they symbolized his rage quite well. Sol just didn't see it, he thought. Didn't see how glubbin' awesome that he was. Eridan knew that he needed to fix that, needed him to see who he reely was. And, he thought, he knew just how to do it. As the eggs began to fry on his think pan, he rose to his feet. He walked towards the utility closet. He was CERTAIN there would be at least one less empty bucket in the facility that night.


	2. Observe a Budding Matespriteship

Feferi and Sollux sat next to the water fountain, Sollux was pissed that he lost his spot in the horn pile to a whiney douche bag of a sea dweller, but at least he knew that Eridan would never take his place next to Feferi's heart, he was probably still in the horn pile now sobbing his eyes out.

"I can't believe you used to be that asshole's friend."

"Don't be so hard on him, he can be really sweet when he wants to be."

"Sure, whatever you want to say."

"Oh come on Sollux! Give him a shot, please?" Her big black and yellow eyes looked up at him with the sweetest affection. "For me"

Sollux tried not to laugh and only managed to suppress it into a smirk. "Fine, but if he starts any shit then I'm going to throw him back into the nasty ocean where he belongs."

Feferi cringed at his metaphor that bashed her home, but decided to pick her battles and stay on topic. "I hate when you fight with him, I keep thinking one of you will get hurt!" Feferi rested her head in her clawed hands; the she popped up again and smiled. "So, tell me about you and Aradia, were you true matesprits?"

"Well…" the Gemini began, growing exceedingly quiet. "It's just a long, confusing story, you know? Some times I feel like her spirit is still here with me and not in that hard metal case EU gave her." He sighed, "I just miss her so much."

"Do you want to tell me about it? I'm here to listen." She touched his hand gently, as if trying to assure him that she wasn't leaving.

"Are you sure?" His glasses slipped down onto the tip of his nose, and for a moment, the two looked deeply into each other's eyes.

"Most definitely!"

As the two began to talk, they went entirely unnoticed by the purple haired sea dweller creeping off to set his plan into motion.


	3. Dispose of Your Kismesis

Aradia was in the far left corner of the room, standing as usual. One of the things she favored about her metal armored body was that she did not experience muscle strain. Across the room lay Sollux and Feferi, cuddling in a pile.

It was hard for Aradia to see Sollux go to another girl, especially since the Fuchsia blood was at the top of the hemospectrum; whereas she lay at the very bottom. Even though things between the two lowbloods had been rocky at points, she really missed being the Gemini's Moirail. Even though in most cases Matespritships didn't interfere with Moirails, Aradia felt like she couldn't relate to Sollux when he was so horns over heels for Feferi.

On the side of the lab closest to her was Equius. Honestly, Aradia didn't know exactly what to think of him at the moment. She had experienced a longing feeling for him even before he had given her a new body, but then he tricked her into loving him for all the wrong reasons with that heart implant.

But those days were over now. Aradia had abandoned all feelings for the Heir of Void after that emotional burst. Even Equius himself seemed less interested in her as a person, and Aradia would be no ones' puppet. Not anymore.

As Sollux and Feferi rose to leave the room, she felt her artificial heart long for the past when she felt welcome in her Moirail's life.

She looked over once again to the male blue blood. She truly hated him. The Maid of Time was grateful for the services he had provided her; but in reality she would have preferred it if he hadn't intervened at all.

Aradia decided to take advantage of the lull in his actions with Nepeta and strode up to the Sagittarius. "Equius," she spoke unconcernedly. "Equius I want to talk to you."

"What is it, lowblood?" he turned from where he had previously been polishing one of his sturdier robot creations.

"I am here only because I feel it is important to alert you of new changes I am making."

"Oh?" he remarked.

"Starting with, I'm no longer willing to be your Kismesis."

"But, Aradia," he began to sweat. "When the Imperial Drones come by, we will both be culled."

"There are no more Drones, and any way, why should I care? I'm dead anyway."

"But…" The creepy man began to fret, "You are a low b100d. You will obey me. I will not allow you to leave me."

"Actually, you gave me blue blood. In my veins runs the same that run through yours. And I command you to stop issuing commands like the useless prick you exist as." Aradia stormed off, leaving a disgruntled highblood sweating on the ground like an Olympian. His bodily fluids dripped on to the machinery he had just cleaned, prompting Equius to polish it once more. The more and more he thought upon the notion of a rust blood rejecting him, the larger his bulge grew inside his pants.

Aradia transportalized out of the lab to take up fortress inside a hidden respiteblock near the utility closet. Here, she would wait for Sollux. It would only be a matter of minutes before he arrived.


	4. Help a Love Struck Sea Dweller

The candy blood faced the small percentage of the team left in the room. They were the only ones who had minded his guidance as their all-powerful leader. The few who had remained preoccupied their time with boring shit that Karkat wasn't going to waste his time listing off in his head, it was all pointless anyway; seeing as the trolls and their new "human" companions were quite likely to be stuck on this rock in space for who knows how long.

Gog, he hated the humans.

Well, he didn't hate all of them, just that Dave guy. Dave's first moves, even before he wound up here at the lab, were to have interspecies flirtation with Terezi. Right now he was probably comforting her. Trying to calm her down after all the bullshit Karkat had told her. Terezi was sick of him and he knew it, he understood it too. He hated dealing with all of his past and future selves.

The Rose human was ok, she had seemed to get a bit attached to Kanaya though, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Kanaya was his best friend after Gamzee.

Karkat had forgiven Jade for what she had done, he realized that it wasn't much of her fault in reality of why she had prototyped that beast of a first God into her sprite. She seemed to accept her apology, but the two of them tried to avoid one another still.

John was…weird. He put Karkat in an awkward situation with himself, having embarrassed both parties when he proposed being Kismesises. John acted normal after this though…still behaving like a hyperactive imbecile. Karkat should hate him. He felt completely justified in this thought.

And yet…maybe there was something else to this strange human.

Karkat strode over to Kanaya, who was rubbing some spikey black and orange ball.

"Hey Kanaya, what are you doing with that pointy thing there?"

"Karkat, this is the Matriorb I took from my Lusus. It will eventually give us the oppurtunity to revive our race."

"Oh, really? Well when that opportunity finally gets its ass in gear I suggest we pull Eridan and Vriska from the gene pool, We don't need those fucked up strains of Dna from those imbecilic morons."

"I think I may have to agree with you there, we have plenty of other patrons on this ship."

"Thats right for sure, almosrt too many."

"I will be wondering though how the humans will adjust to this new system of procreation, did you know buckets are simply cleaning products in their strange world?"

The Mutant's cheeks began to glow a brilliant bright red as buckets were mentioned. "Oh, well I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. Sometimes I don't even know how we created them in the first place! They are so fucking weird."

"Interesting, isn't it?" She gently prodded the orb.

"Uh, sure, if you think so then, I'm going to check on the rest of this ludicrous team now." And with that, Karkat ran off towards the transportalizer.

When he got down to the landing, he crashed into an overly derpy John. "Derp, derp derp." (This was not what John said, but this is what all of what John says to Karkat sounds like.) "Hey Karkat!"

John sure was turning on the charm today. His hair was sticking up in all random places, his teeth were more obtuse and awkward than ever, and Karkat could almost swear that he was wearing some cologne or some other kind of aesthetic human shit. "Hello John, I see your awake already."

"Yup! What do you mean already? It is kind of late in the day."

"How can you tell anyway fuckass? We aren't close to your pathetic human sun, or even the green sun."

"Well, I just looked at my glasses. Even though our universe is all destroyed and everything it still keeps time, kinda weird huh?" He blinked, sending a cascade of delicate eyelashes down, and then up again.

Gog damn it, why wouldn't John enter his quadrants?

"Anyway, Eridan told me to come find you. He told me there was something really important he needed to talk to you about."

"Oh no! I don't want anymore of his mindless fuckery. I thought he had gotten that point by now." Really Eridan? What could be so important as to disobey your all powerful leader AND then make him find YOU? "Did he lose his cape again?"

"No, he didn't really say what it was about, but it seemed really important that you come and talk to him. I think you should go." John looked into Karkats eyes, and for a moment, Karkat thought he was in heaven. "Karkat? Are you going to go see him?"

"Yes, of course dumbass. All this team does any way is dump all their personal issues on their team leader and get HIM to solve them for them. For Gog's sake I'm your fucking leader, not your therapist! I thought that was Lalondes specialty."

"Well, maybe they want to talk to their leader about it instead of their friends? I don't know, troll culture sure is different than ours." His eyes seemed to glow for a second, only a second, but that was all Karkat needed. "Have fun with helping Eridan, he told me to tell you to meet him in his respite block. See ya later Karkat!" John walked off into the library, and Karkat sighed unhappily as John's pleasant scent floated away with him. As he trudged off to the loser sea dwellers respite block, he wondered what the violet blood would ask of him. He had to admit to himself though; he almost didn't mind Eridan taking favors from him if it meant John would be the one to deliver his requests. Opportunities to talk to the Heir of Breath were seldom at best.

"Eridan?" He knocked on the door. "Open up, its Karkat." The door swung open quickly and Karkat was thrust into the well lit room.

Inside Eridan's respite block was messy and strewn with several piles of wands, the piles seemed to be sorted by length and thickness. The piles of short and skinny wands were the largest of all. On the walls hung badly drawn pictures of Eridan's old FLARP character Dualscar, and portraits of the treasure he and Vriska used to collect. It seemed he had already acquired an object which the humans referred to as a "bed" and it was covered with violet, to match his recuperacoon and the floor.

"Kar, I really need your help with somethin." His tone was urgent, and his face was flushed purple with worry. He was almost sweating as badly as Equius.

"What is it fuckass?" Even though Eridan was a whiney prick, Karkat always ended up helping the miserable bloke.

"Ya see…I saw Sollux just now in the hallway, and I want his heart."

"Oh hell no, the last thing we need in here is more murders."

"Not like that stupid! I want him is my Kismesis, and I need your help in order to do it."

"But why should I help you? So far in the past he hasn't tolerated you at all, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want a kismesis right now anyway. Besides, hes a bro. Why would I choose to hurt him by forcing you on him?"

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence Kar, and I have a plan. Don't bros like playin jokes on each other sometimes? Like, makin fun of them?"

"I'm listening."

"If my plan doesn't work out and Sol still doesn't like me, you and he will get to laugh at me."

"Hmm, I know Sollux would like that, but what about me?"

"Seein me fuck up isn't prize enough for you?"

"No, thats not really enough."

"Alright, fine…when it's all done…I'll let you wear my cape for a day." His voice began to shake with disappointment.

"Oh, gog no! I don't want to wear your stupid cape! I'll help you if you promise to keep that ridiculous ass thing as far away from me as possible."

"Deal," He said. "I wouldn't have let him wear you anyway my precious." He whispered quietly into the cape.

"What?"

"Nothing, anyway, here's the plan." The taller troll bent down to whisper the carefully thought out idea into the shorter trolls ear, even though there was no one around to possibly hear it.

"Wow, thats the best you could come up with? I could shit a better plan than this!"

"Kar, please, just help me with this."

"…fine."


	5. Understand the Feelings You Used to Know

"Hmm, now that you mentiion it, I never really thought of it that way."

"HeHe, glad I could kelp." Feferi yawned, and Sollux noticed that her eye lids were beginning to droop.

"Are you tired?" He asked, putting one of his long wiry arms around her.

"A little bit, maybe I should head back to my respite block for a little sleep. I don't think I could sleep in the lab with Karcrab yelling all the time.

"I'll walk you there." Sollux rose to his feet, picking up the young heiress as he did.

"You don't have to, its only just across the hall silly!"

"I believe I must insist on taking you over there, Cuttlefish. To make sure you make it there safely." Sollux stepped around the piles of garbage cluttering up the floor, wands, horns, knit sweaters and research books were strewn all over the gogdamn place. It must have taken one of Gamzees shitty miracles for Sollux to have made it across the messy place.

He gently kicked the door open and walked inside.

Feferi's respite block had been painted Fuchsia, and then filled with tiny cages. Sollux knew the cages once held many a wild cuttlefish, but in there new barren environment there was no ocean to hold cuttlefish to cull. Her floor was covered with a thick fluffy carpet of the same colour and her culling fork hung mounted on a shelf on the wall.

Oh gog, Sollux was terrified of that fork.

Sollux lay her down on her bed, and tucked her in. "Are you comfortable?" he asked softly, sitting down beside her chubby legs.

"Very, thank you for doing this Sollux." She smiled, and removed her goggles, hanging them from the last tine of the ceremonial culling fork. "Now hopefully I can get some sleep tonight, even without sopor.

"Maybe you'll dream of me." He joked, allowing a snigger to pass through his lungs and over his visage.

"Hopefully, glub."

Sollux kissed his matesprits small soft lips, enjoying the moment. With the threat of dying at any moment, he cherished these intimate moments the best. These would be the first ones he would miss.

"Goodnight FF."

"Goodnight Sollux."

Sollux closed the door gently, and took off to head back to the lab. It was getting late, and the Gemini preferred to sleep curled up beneath his computer. Gamzee would usually sleep in the room too, and sometimes when the highblood would roll over at night, the motion would produce a choir of honks. Sollux would never tell anyone, but those honks always soothed him when his insomnia kept him up. To him, they were like those white noise machines the humans would sometimes talk about, peaceful and comforting. Not terrifying and scary at all.

On the walk to the lab, he was stopped by Karkat.

"Hey fuckass, I thought I told you to stay put."

"Oh, hey KK, nice to see you too."

"Where in hell have you been?"

"Why do I have to tell you where I go? You're not my lusus." He said, quickly beginning to get irritated.

"Because I'm your leader, and if any of you nookstains get hurt and can't help the team escape Jack Noir I will self destruct."

"Not my problem."

"Just...Fuck you!" though the leader before him was flipping the fuck out, his hair was still semi neat, and Sollux could swear Karkat was wearing a clean shirt. Something had to be up; Karkat doesn't tidy himself up for just anyone. "Anyway, I need to talk to you."

"What is it douche bag."

"I need blackrom advice, you seem to be the only one around here with any, even if it's completely fucked up."

"Eridan is not my Kismesis, and you know that." The mustard blood crossed his arms angrily; he didn't like it when his feelings were brought up.

"But you want him to be; don't even attempt launch a pathetic attempt to deny it." Karkats voice was adamant, and Sollux had to admit to himself that it was true.

"So? We've never been able to agree to terms. Whenever he wants it, I don't, and when I do, he won't stop being an annoying ass hat about it."

"You are still the only one here who has his own nook on straight enough to help me with this. Please, I am on my knees doing the action the humans call begging. Look! Here I am 'Rolling over' like the human dogbeasts."

Sollux sighed, "Fine KK, but you owe me so much for this."

"Now, get over here. Follow me, where no one will hear us conferring about like ignorant humans."

"I don't get why you hate the humans so much, especiially that John one. I thought you felt red for him."

"Shut up!" Sollux began to follow Karkat, having absolutely no idea where he was going.

Over in a nearby respite block, a sad robot sat glowering. Aradia's sensors had told her that Sollux would be engaged with her before he spoke to the crabby mutant. She didn't know what senses to trust anymore, she sighed and lay down in the closet. Aradia could feel emotions again, and she remembered how badly sadness stung oh too familiarly.


	6. Wait, Who am I Doing Here?

**AN: Hey guys! I know I haven't posted many Author's Notes along in this story, but hopefully that will start to change. I ALSO know that I haven't updated in a little bit, so I'm sorry. I've been dealing with a few issues with my life that have come up, but hopefully they are over (at the very least for the present moment). In the midst of all that I had also been struck with writers block for a time and the words just wouldn't flow. Anyway, this is the longest chapter so far, and this describes the main action. Don't worry though, the story isn't over yet. ;)**

"KK, where are we going?" The irritated Gemini queried, he didn't particularly enjoy being dragged around randomly in the dark. He always thought that was more of Vriskas thing.

"We're almost there; just shut your protein gaper."

The hallway the walked in seemed to get darker and darker with every step. Sollux put his hand out to brush the wall, when he realized he couldn't feel it.

"I don't think I've been to this part of the laboratory before."

"I try to avoid it, but this was where Gamzee would stay when he hid from Kanaya last year."

"How did they both end the argument so well anyway? I could have sworn Kanaya was ready to chainsaw him in half for what he did."

"Apparently they reached an agreement when she discovered that his blood really does taste like jelly."

The hallway took a sharp hook, and Sollux would nearly have fell and hit the floor hard had Karkat not been there to shoulder his weight as he went down. "Watch your ass!" shouted the Cancer.

"What's the point of us going to a secret location if you give it away to everyone on the meteor by shouting?"

Karkat didn't answer. "Ok, in here." He guided the Gemini into the medium sized room.

"Ok, where should I start?" Sollux could not see his hand before his eyes, much less Karkat.

"I'll start…" There was a clanking noise as he lifted a metal object of some sort. "I'm so sorry buddy." Karkat raised the iron devise above his head and hit Sollux once in the temple with it, knocking him out. He replaced the bondage chain on the wall and went outside, where Eridan was waiting.

"It's done; I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. He's going to freak when he comes to."

"Don't worry about it. I'm goin to set up and you can hang here, or whatever you want to do." His wavy voice said. When what happens is over we'll come out through this door, an you can laugh, congratulate… anyfin."

When Sollux woke up, he was laying on the hard cement floor of the room. His arms were held tightly above his head in chains, and his glasses weren't on the bridge of his nose anymore. He could feel cuts forming on his wrists from the chains. Looking up, he noticed the restrain cuffs in question looked exactly like the Zodiac symbol Karkat wore on all of his shirts.

Suddenly, the lighting was flicked on. The fluorescent light bulbs burnt into Sollux's eyes at first, making him flinch into the cold concrete. As the room became clearer around him, he noticed a table in the midst; it was well decorated and contained a sumptuous meal. One that could only have been made through the hands of Rose and Kanaya, two chairs sat beside the table. However, the figure before him easily stood out the most. In front of him was the love of his blackrom life, the troll who blinded him, and the troll who tried to kill him.

It was Eridan Ampora.

"What are you doing? Help me get out of this!" the man in bondage exclaimed, pulling on his arms as he did. As he pulled, his yellow blood began to drip down onto his short pointed hair.

"Why would I do that Sol? I told you I wanted to talk to you; I don't think you got how serious I was."

"You wanted to talk to me, so you trollnapped me?" Sollux's enraged eyes began to glow their respective blue and red colors.

"Hey, calm the fuck down Sol, Kar helped too."

"Alright fine, you have four seconds to tell me what you FUCKING wanted to talk about before I flip my shit."

Eridan laughed. "I'm not worried about that time constraint; those are holy cuffs, used on the Signless or somethin. You can't use your optic blasts."

"Ok, listen the fuck up, fish dick. Let me out of here right now or I'll fucking kill you." Sollux began to sweat, knowing he couldn't back up that threat.

"I don't really think you're in the position to be makin demands Sol." Eridan dragged a chair over to Sollux, and lifted the low blood into it. At first sight, Eridan didn't look like much muscle to him, but he easily lifted Sollux into the chair and set him down gently.

Next, Eridan pushed the table over in front of the chained man. This was harder for him, but Sollux was still certain he couldn't have pushed the table himself. As he looked as his own wiry gamer arms he knew they would be much in the lacking. "I don't think you get how much I wanna be your Kismesis." He pulled a chair for himself up, and then leaned across the table and kissed Sollux delicately. "I bet your hungry…" he paused "Aren't you?" Eridan picked up a spoonful of some creamy looking item and lifted it to his lover's lips.

"No, Eridan, no, I'm not letting you feed m-." the spoon was shoved in, cutting off his words midsentence. Sollux choked, coughed and swallowed. It was ice cream, vanilla flavored, with… "Is that…is that honey on top?"

"Yeah, I know how much you care for it. So I got Jade to give me some a her non hallucinogenic human honey."

"Wow…" another spoon full, another, another.

"Eridan! Quit it." Sollux sprayed, spitting out a glob of ice cream as he did.

"Sol, watch yourself! You're getting it all on my scarf!" The hipster removed the garment and threw it over the back of the door handle. "Ugh, Kanaya can get it out later I guess. Damn, Sol. You got it all over your face." Eridan began to lean in close, he got closer and closer. Sollux started squirming all over his chair, trying to avoid the kiss he thought would come.

It didn't.

The taller troll reached over and fingered off the little puddle of ice cream on the Gemini's upper lip, then lifted that forefinger to his own mouth. "For a lowblood, you shore do taste fintastic." Sollux felt his blood rise to his face, for an arrogant prick…he guessed he could be sweet sometimes. He was pulled from his thought when Eridan leaned in again, and began to bite Sollux's lip.

"Oww…" he spluttered. But Eridan went in deeper, and began to nibble at his collarbone. Sollux began to blush harder, but the only piece of skin he could get at in his restrained position was to sink his mismatched and twisted teeth into Eridans ear.

The restrained man could feel the vibrations of Eridans moan vibrate throughout his chest cavity, and tightened his bite.

At that turn of events, Eridan flipped the table away and was left kneeling before Sollux. He started to trail little kisses down the neck of the chained boy, while with his left hand he began to creep up the T-Shirt bearing the Gemini sign. He fondled as the yellow blood moaned. That very same yellow blood continued to drip from above, it now stained aforementioned shirt a very banana yellow. He went higher, pulling the shirt up with him as he went. This solicited a small blaze of red and blue sparks from the color coded eyes.

"Oh, fuck Ampora." Sollux's blood and sweat slickened thin wrists began to slip from their cuff casings. The freed arms now closed around his pursuer.

With Sollux now free, Eridan was able to remove the stained shirt and toss it over his shoulder, landing on the bowl of spilt ice cream. Sollux pounced on Eridan, clawing at his long sleeved shirt and very nearly tearing it to pieces. He lowered his jaw to his Kismesis's chest and began to lick in circles around the center. As his tongue got closer to the three gills paired perfectly in line on each side of Eridan's chest, the recipient moaned louder and louder. When he bit into them, the cry was indescribable.

Sollux fingered at Eridan's glasses with his little finger. "Take those off dipshit." When Eridan hesitated, Sollux yanked them off himself. "Wow, you actually look cute as fuck underneath those things." He muttered.

"Well thanks, Sol you should go without yours some time else too."

"Are we really going to talk about this NOW?"

"Right," he picked up the speed kissing Sollux's neck. Sollux replied by licking his sweaty face, coming dangerously close to tasting those light purple eyes. Terezi would be so jealous.

While Sollux was beginning to pull at the hipster's fancy and overpriced pants, Eridan broached the most difficult topic. "Sol…? Will you pail, with me?"

Sollux stopped, and turned to look the Aquarius in the face. "Yes, Eridan" he whispered softly. Then he laughed. "You don't know how long I've wanted to pail with you fish dick."

"And you don't know how long I've wanted to ask." He got up and went to the far corner of the room, where a large bucket waited. He retrieved it and lay on top of Sollux with it.

"Oh, fuck no. We're doing this my way." He pushed his boney hips into Eridan's chest and made him give up control. He sneered down at the surprised troll beneath him, and pried his legs apart. As he slowly slid his focus down the hipsters body, Karkat flinched outside.

"Oh! That's DISGUSTING!" He shouted loudly, and he took off the corridor away from the love struck pair.


	7. Hipster DJ's Give the Best Advice

The Ship That Shouldn't Have Sunk Part Seven

Three of the four humans sat in the dark dank library, Rose studying an ancient tome while John and Dave sat looking over their old chat room accounts. On their Chumroll lists were fifteen names apiece, and on both accounts were six grayed out names. Seemed oddly fitting, that as a last service to the dead the program would close the specific accounts for them. The program must have been baffled with Aradia's unusual come and go, however.

carcinoGeneticist.

Ugh, why did that name have so much relevance in his life?

Before John really knew Karkat, he was just a troll. Back then, a troll was the kind of person who spent his time laying around in his parents' basement scrolling down Minecraft forums. Now, it was a whole species!

This particular idea was far too complex for John, but he was unduly excited over it nonetheless.

But then, they had their "first conversation" and Karkat tried to make those romantic advances on him…and John could swear he felt his world falling to pieces.

John was very attracted to Karkat, the way his hair mussed up so easily, the way he would pap Gamzee's face with his smooth soft hands, how his voice cracked as he called Dave a fuckass while he pissed on Lalondes' clip board. Though, that last memory was one best left forgotten for all those involved; Rose was still washing the red fluid from her hood.

However, with every single fucking relationship (or potential one) in this shitty game, there were problems, big problems. Karkat spoke of a hate relationship, about hate dates and hurting each other. John just loved Karkat too much to physically hurt him in any way.

But that wasn't even the big issue, he hated to reflect on it; but he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

John could not possibly be a homosexual!

A few years back, before Sburb, John's dad once tried to give him the sex talk. The conversation that was going to be a father-son growing up talk rapidly disintegrated into Dad angrily ranting about homosexuals.

"You see John, homosexuals are dirty. They will lie to you to get exactly what they want. And after they've gotten that, they are going to leave you; leave you alone in your house with an adopted son who has no real mom because she never came back from getting milk!"

A little while after that conversation, Dad started hanging around with that nicely dressed liquor store lady. John didn't think that she really worked there, but she certainly did hang out around there allot.

John didn't want to disappoint his dad by loving another man, even though his father was dead and gone.

"Hey bro, what's with the sad face?" Dave asked from beside him.

"Ughh, Dave, I just don't know what to think right now."

"Karkat giving you shit again?"

Damn it! Why did Dave always have to be so intuitive? "Kinda…"

"Do you need me to straighten him out? Have a little, bro on bro conversation?" Dave offered, his cool kid gaze forever concealed behind his super awesome aviators.

"Derp! Derp!" John laughed, "no, not that kind of problem. I wish it would be as easy to solve as that… To be honest with you Dave, I'm not sure about how I feel about him."

"Thank god, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one here who thought he was a creepy little fucker."

"No, no! Not like that," John sighed. "It's just like, when we first met and he tried that confusing hate-date offer, I didn't think I felt the same. I know I don't hate him, but I can't deny my attraction to him any longer…" John lowered his head into his hands, staring at the floor through his clenched fingers.

Dave grew silent and still, "So the tensions too much for you?"

"Kinda," John sighed. "I hate how I want to tell him, I want to tell him so badly… but I just can't Dave! If only my Dad knew how I feel right now, I would never be able to leave the house again."

"Your Dad has a problem with you dating a grey skinned minority?"

"It's not that simple Dave," John cried into his palms. "My Dad is against homosexuality, he told me that he turned to it after my mom left, and I guess that it messed him up really bad. That night he talked to me about it was the first time I had ever seen him cry."

Dave nodded; he seemed to be thinking deeply. The two best friends sat in silence for several minutes. "So?" his reply finally came. It was uttered so low and quiet that John could barely tell it was a question. "So, what?"

"I think I love him Dave, he never leaves my mind; and it terrifies me that my Dad wouldn't like the boy I want."

"John, I'm not sure if you realized this, but your Dad is dead." Dave regarded with a deadpan expression. "He's gone, and he's never coming back."

"B-but Dave, it would make him so sad to see me as a homosexual."

"No," Dave caught Johns chin with his index and middle finger. "I think he would be the most sad to see you unhappy because you won't confess your feelings to some douchebag."

John caught Dave's hand with his own and held it to the spot. "You really think so?"

"I know so, John. Anyone who loves their kid enough to raise them usually give a damn about their happiness."

"Oh, Dave" mumbled John.

"Oh, John" Dave said, whispering in a husky voice. He began to draw closer to the man parallel to him, tilting his head the slightest bit so their noses wouldn't collide in their passionate kiss.

That kiss was doomed to never come to fruition.

"Your right, Dave!" John yelled, jumping up and nearly knocking over Dave with him.

"Uh, what?"

"I have to go tell Karkat my feelings! I'll see you later!" John took off, leaving a bewildered Dave in his wake.

As the door slammed shut behind him, Dave cast his dejected eyes to the shitty flooring. He sighed.

"I'll get him next time." He whispered as he went to go find the lotion and tissues.


	8. Kicking the Bucket

It was freezing cold and dark when Sollux woke up, not like that was anything particularly unusual to the young troll. But as he had adventured so long now with these humans he had become accustomed to the heat and warmth they seemed to bring with them.

Sollux had no idea whatsoever as to where he was at the moment. All he had to remind him of last night was a burning head ache, and a slight stickiness about his legs. It was only when the troll had curled deeper into the folds of fabric ensnaring him when he heard that low moan.

"Sol…." A low wavy voice groaned. Sollux knew that voice all too well, it was the same that cried out to him last night, and echoed in his dreams. Sollux tried to remove himself from the mess of human blankets and extract himself from this truly awkward situation, and found his lanky body slipping and hitting the hard cement floors, eliciting another moan from his Kismesis.

My God was he a heavy sleeper.

The newly freed boy stood to his feet turned to exit the respite block, when he couldn't help but find himself staring at the sleeping violet blood before him. Eridan was lying flat on his back with his legs spread wide, revealing a discharge of yellow genetic material from several orifices. His torso was twisted to the side; facing him. In his arms he cradled a now empty dent in the mattress, presumably from where Sollux himself had just been. In his hands he tightly held the yellow blood's red and blue 3-D glasses. As hard and as hard as he pulled, he couldn't retrieve his glasses from their captor for the life of him. On the floor lay two pairs of mostly shredded clothes. "Great…" he thought.

"Douche bag," he whispered to the sleeping boy. Then he exited the room and headed for the ablution trap; he really needed to wash off this purple gel soon, it was beginning to get annoying. "Isn't that the whole purpose of the bucket anyway?" he thought aloud.

Thankfully, Sollux was able to focus past his throbbing headache long enough to find his way back to his own respite block to locate clean clothing before slipping into his warm ablution trap. The color all over his body flooded to the surface and dyed the whole bath a sickly shade of teal; prompting him to run new water. He relaxed in the fluid as he began washing himself. The heat and steam from the human bath began to give his poor think pan release from his headache, and with the hot slippery environment influencing his mind he began to slip into dreams of last night. The purple and yellow stained the walls, and he could feel his horns being rubbed by the most careful of masseurs. He felt himself moaning as the bliss came back and back in waves, his vision went white hot when ED hit just THAT right spot. Oh! Damn, who would have thought Eridan was that fucking flexible? He became awakened from his thoughts when he felt the heat rise again between his legs, painfully bringing himself back to the present moment.

And with the present moment came a knock at the door.

"Sol, can I come in? Please?" Eridan whispered through the door, scratching down it with his immaculately polished and filed nails.

"No, ED I'm in the trap." He called back.

"So? Please?"

"I said no."

He came in anyway.

"What are you doing?" Sollux cried, attempting to hide his aroused self from the prying sea dweller.

"Spending some time with my Kismesis," he smiled his creepy hipster grin and started to slide himself into the bath alongside Sollux.

"Wait stop, won't your dorky hipster clothes get wet or something?" he tried of desperation.

"No way Sol, I'm a sea dweller! My clothes were MADE for this." Eridan chimed. He sunk his skinny butt deep into the water and flashed his shark teeth at the terrified low blood.

"What you got there, shrimp?" Eridan began to pry at the tiny bony hands covering Sollux's bulge.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Sollux kicked hard against sending him against the back of the trap wall, not hard enough to hurt him, but a clear message was given.

"Sol? Whats wrong? I thought you wanted to be my Kismesis." He looked down fallen.

"Yeah, but it's just another one night thing, like last time."

"What?"

"Last time it ended the next morning, remember?"

"Of course I remember! Sol, that was horrible."

"Then let's just keep it like last time ED."

"But, why Sol? Last night was…" he reached to touch the weaker troll's cheek.

"Yeah, last night… now it's tomorrow and it's a new day."

"Please, just give me one more chance. I don't know what I did wrong but I promise I'll make it up to you if you just let me try." Eridan pleaded.

"No ED, just go. I just can't do this, it's over."

Eridan looked at Sollux one more time, and the latter could see the tears about to leak from both of his violet eyes. "Fine Sol…." He got up and walked out of the bathroom; still dripping wet, but not before placing his ex's beloved glasses on the sink counter. He didn't look back on his way out.

Sollux looked down and noticed his problem was gone. He rose from the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist, and then he collapsed on the floor beside the door.

"What have I done?" he whispered into his elbows.


	9. It's not Like we Didn't See This Coming

**Whelp! I know it's been a while since I've updated. I'm sorry! DX I'm trying hard to catch up with the typing, but I've gotten caught up in writing a few one-shots on the side, so you can look forward to a few of them in the immediate future.**

**Not that anyone is likely reading this, so it will be a supurrise!**

**Hehe**

**Hehe. Sorry. I don't always own Homestuck, I never do. DX**

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Karkat was sitting in the hallway outside his respite block, and hell was he pissed. The team had all left the lab now, scattering about the meteor to do their own bullshit tasks that didn't involve their leader. It wasn't like he CARED about it though, just his team goofing off, having fun, without him.

This is stupid.

Eridan came running down the hall, nearly knocking over Karkat in the process. "Hey! Watch your step asshole!" he shouted after him.

"No, fuck you Kar." His voice quivered, he sounded like he was upset, but why should he care? Why did it always come down to Karkat to solve all his team mate's problems?

Karkat took off towards the communal movie room, because there was little else to do about this time. When he got to the room, he found he was the only one there. The movie room had really gone to hell ever since the John human arrived, this place used to play the best Alternian films, now most of the dreck that came from the projector was just those terrible human Nick Cage films. Currently, it was on a horrendous romcom that aired just a few weeks before the Sgrub, and god was it trashy. The movie told the story of a low blood and high blood had a jet black Kismesitude, but the low blood eventually developed red feelings for the high blood. Conflicted by his low blooded lover's change of heart, the high blood began acting as appalling and terrible campaign to convince his Kismesis to remain in the blackrom side of the quadrants. However, the plan fails and eventually the high blood began to fall for the low blood's red advances. At the end, they are both culled on pailing day for being so silly and not filling the black quadrant they seemed to forget about.

You should know very well how this movie ends; you've only seen it sixteen times. You always cry at the end when they die in each other's arms.

Stupid lousy no good troll romance.

Karkat slid down into a chair in the back of the room, the best seat in the theater, if you could call 7 shitty chairs, a blank white wall and a projector a theater that is. Karkat became lost in the movie for an hour or so before he was brought to his senses by a hard tap on his shoulder.

"Hey, Karkat! Snap out of it!" John shouted to the short troll.

"What do you want fuckass? Eridan got another problem to dump on me?"

"No… I just kinda wanted to watch the movie with you can I sit here?" he spoke quietly.

"Sure…I guess."

John sat down next to Karkat and leaned close to the screen. "What did I miss?"

"Right now, it's just a jumbled, half-crazy hemospectrum cluster fuck."

"Oh…" John murmured absentmindedly.

It was at THAT moment when the blackrom pailing scene commenced. The two male trolls were locked in the heat of that passionate hate moment, the more dominant low blood took control scratching and biting his high blood partner. While Karkat collapsed into his seat in terrible embarrassment, John could not pull his eyes from the screen. The Cancer troll was certain he didn't even see John blink when the bucket was filled.

When it was over, John turned to his seat neighbor and poked him, with an amused expression on his face. "So, that's troll sex?"

Karkat didn't answer; he buried his head in his hands.

"Huh, doesn't seem much different from human sex…" he commented quietly.

"Just fuck off." Karkat said, embarrassment staining his grey cheeks red.

"Karkat, I know that there's allot of cultural differences we still have to get over, but I think I need to ask you something. It's time for me to stop lying to you and myself." He scooted closer in his chair.

Karkat moved away, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"No, no, come back!" John cried, taking Karkats hands in his own. "Karkat, will you be my, umm, boyfriend?" he stroked the boy's sharp yellow nails.

"What?"

"I'm through lying to myself Karkat, I am entirely and irrevocably a homosexual. And, I watch your shitty romcoms and sometimes I think that could be us!" John's glasses began to slip down his nose, and Karkat tried halfheartedly to stop himself from fixing the falling optic lenses.

He failed miserably.

"John, what the FUCK? I've been flirting with you, non-stop, for three years. And you think that just when I'm done with you and trying to get over it you can spring a total attack on my senses? Seriously John, my heart is under onslaught by your fucking Trojan horse human emotions. Help me! I think I'm fucking dying!" Karkat made a choking noise and fell back hard against his chair.

"Stop that, it's not…very sexy." John murmured. But Karkat continued. "Ok…maybe a bit? I don't know." John began to lean in closer to Karkat, and Karkat thrust him away.

"John, what are you doing?" Karkat tried to jump away.

"Cuddling you fuckass," John said. He resumed trying to get close to the mutant blood again.

"Bu-but John," Karkat stumbled. "Have you ever, err, done this before? Is this some form of human ritual?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it, I'll teach you." John's voice had grown deeper, his man grist levels soaring to a new high, but they hadn't reached their highest just yet. He pulled Karkat into his lap and began to stroke his chin.

"Damn it John!" He flinched erratically, pushing away the nerdy human in the process. John hit the floor with a relatively loudly "pap" and he looked the confused and slightly horny troll in the eyes. "What the hell do you want from me? You like fucking me over with that incessant 'no homo' bullshit?"

"Karkat, I promise you, that's over." He took Karkat's face in his palms and looked deeply into his candy red rimmed eyes. "I've come to terms with it; didn't you know I always loved you?"

"What?"

"You heard me," John once again pulled the reluctant troll into his lap and held his neck, bringing Karkat close to his own face. "Now shut up and kiss me." The two newly made lovers became locked in a passionate kiss that seemed to resonate through every fiber of their beings.

When they finally parted, Karkat was out of breath and leaning against John's six pack chest. John held Karkat's small body close and tight. Then, the smaller boy whispered into the affectionate human's ear. "I knew you'd come around eventually."

* * *

**Hope you all liked it! I had such terrible writers block on this chapter, you wouldn't even know. I know it's kinda sappy and all that shit, but thats just how I picture their relationship, a nerd and a hopeless romantic. :) Next chapter will be out soon hopefully.**


	10. A Story Never Truly Ends

**ATTENTION EVERYONE! THE ENTIRE NEXT CHAPTER IS STRICTLY YAOI. Now that I have your attention, it's time for me to unfortunately end this series. I'm so so so so so so so so sorry that is has taken me so long to publish this. It took me so long to publish this and I only have realy bad excuses to stand in the place of it ;_;. I really enjoyed writing this story, and I think you liked reading it? I would like to do another such story soon, but it would really help me out if you left a review and told me what you liked about this adventure! On to the next ride, Allon-sy!**

* * *

"W-weh! W-weh!" Eridan cried out in the darkness. The darkness didn't answer; it only gave light echoes that would dissipate to leave him alone once more. He had retreated off into that cold, dark, stony room that just last night had held so much bliss for him. Now it just stood to mock him. Table and chairs were still over turned in the far corner, and holy cuffs still lay in yellow mustardy blood beside him. He stroked them half-heartedly and began to reminisce about his dear Sollux, but only felt himself begin to sob harder.

"Sol!" Eridan cried, thrusting his back against the cold unforgiving wall. As his violet purple tears streamed like a river down his high royal cheekbones as he recalled the LAST time this had happened.

_The room of them was vibrating with rage. Two young trolls stood in the middle of a respite block arguing about their flushed romance, or, the lack of it more like. The bed they once shared together now lay empty and disheveled. Sheets had begun to unravel themselves from the bed frame and litter themselves across the floor. Tension's final straw had been cut, and everything hit the whirling device._

_ "What the fuck ED? I thought we had something here."_

_ "I thought so too, but I guess I was wrong about romancin' a low blood." Eridan fired back, tossing his cape over his shoulders and reaffixing it to his favorite position._

_ "You know, I thought you were above this kind of bull shit Ampora." Sollux lisped angrily as he pulled his Gemini shirt back on._

_ "Fuck you, stupid piss blood!" Eridan aimed a kick at the apex of the opposite troll's waist._

_ Sollux caught the kick easily, and pushed back at the attacker. "You're not taking this break-up very well at all are you douche bag?" He used the rays of his optic rays to subdue Eridans arms and thrust them towards their owner's face. "Why are you hitting yourself?" Whack "Why are you hitting yourself?" Whack "God, you must love this, huh?" WHACK_

_ "Stop it Sol!"_

_ "No!"_

_ "You wouldn't want me either if you knew we share quadrants for Feferi!"_

_ "Fuck you, ED. That has nothing to do with this." Sollux said, allowing Eridan's arms to fall to his sides. "You told me you felt red for me…why can't you just let that go?"_

_ "Because Sol, we can't just have a red auspice. Is that even a thing?"_

_ "It could be…look; Feferi doesn't even need to be a part of this." Sollux shushed Eridan's angry out bursts and patted his arm delicately._

_ "But, you love her." Sollux did not deny this. "An, I love her too."_

_ "Is she more important to you than us?" he looked sadly into the high blood's eyes._

_ Eridan didn't have to answer, the look he gave Sollux spoke paragraphs._

_ Sollux threw up his hands in a fit of anger and desperation. "It's over, Ampora." Sollux lisped his goodbye and departed from the room, still sans his shirt._

It wasn't too terribly long after that when Feferi finally cracked; she picked her nerdy Sollux because she said he was "so much cuter!" than Eridan. Every time Eridan thought back to this memory, it gave him body shakes. Chills ran from his royal spine up into his twitchy gills. As he looked down at his usually well pampered and lotion hands, he noticed their fading glow. He rubbed his right hand against his cheek. Yes, even his old romantic flame felt rough to him. It really fucking sucks when your own hand rejects you. The whole of his body felt hollow, and empty; almost as if Sollux had smashed open his hard shelled crab lusus exterior to devour all of his squishy violet flesh.

Though, that sounded a bit fuckin' nasty, in all realities.

But nonetheless this comforted the bitchy Ampora boy very little. "FUCKIN' SOL! How could you do this to me?" He kicked at the chair nearest him, shattering the pathetic wooden device into smithereens.

The table went next; he lifted it and smashed the thing against the back wall of the room, uneaten old dinner and all. The poor thing didn't stand a chance. One tiny piece managed to scuttle its way underneath the door in what could best be described as a last ditch escape effort to evade Ampora's rage. The lone survivor made it a whole five feet down the hall before coming to a rest in the middle of the hallway.

All that was left in the room were the holy cuffs now; Eridan picked them up and pulled them into a steady back swing as his tormented thoughts exploded in his head. "He never loved me!" "How could he break it off like that! Sollux doesn't deserve a highblood, he should get a selfish douchebag just like himself." He beat the heavy chains against the wall furiously, not stopping even as the fatigue built in his trained arms. The eons old chain finally snapped in his hands, and he collapsed to the floor once more in backlash.

"AHHH!" his horrible scream rang out around the room, shaking the door frame a slight bit. Eridan cradled his arm delicately; the pain hit him in incessant waves that made his pierced ears ring and his vision white out. He lay down on the floor in the grub position stroking his arm slowly. The violet rivulets from his eyes had ceased and he began to rock himself on the floor. "He should get a selfish douchebag just like himself," Eridan thought. "A selfish douchebag just like me…"

"BAM!" The door exploded open, nearly provoking Eridan to piss himself in surprise. He rolled toward the door, protectively holding his injured arm in the case of a violent assailant.

There before him stood Sollux.

"Sol? What are you doin' here?" Eridan quivered.

"I heard your bitching from across the meteor, and… who was I to stay away?"

Eridan jerked up to a sitting position. "No way you're comin' around me any fuckin' more, not after what you did to me Sol."

"ED, I'm sorry, I…I guess I really just over reacted, I didn't want to be hurt like last time." He poked at Eridan's arm. "What happened there?"

"I bet you ARE surprised to find that your rejection shatters fuckin' bones!"

"Come on, we need to get Kanaya to set this so it doesn't heal wrong."

"What's this 'we' here?" Eridan demanded angrily.

"ED…I want you back. I'm sorry, I made a mistake…but you messed up like this once too, remember?" he looked delicately in Eridan's eye, "Will you forgive me?"

"Why the fuck should I?"

"You shouldn't, but I forgave you last time, didn't I?"

Eridan looked at Sollux's mismatched eyes, and could have sworn they glimmered for just a second before he shut them once more "Please ED, I made a mistake."

Eridan took Sollux's hands into his, and ran his own touching receptacle down his partner's face. "It's okay Sol…don't fuckin' do that to me again."

"I won't, I promise." He looked again up into Eridan's eyes. "We'll just take it slower this time around." His eyes dropped to the injured elbow and he rubbed it tenderly. "Let's go get you bandaged up sweetie-bee."

The two troll boys took off down the hallway; hand in loving hand, in undoubtedly the greatest story ending of all.

"JESUS FUCK!" Sollux shouted as he bent to remove the giant splinter from his foot.


End file.
